A Life Without You (Promise Me We Will Be All Right)
by Vforthesoul
Summary: In which Loki is severely reminded of Tony Stark's mortality and he can do nothing because he has been stripped of his powers except for his own immortality.
1. Chapter 1

They were both thrown into the air, both of their bodies hit the windshield then hurled over the hood, flipped in the air, then hard on the concrete. Loki only needed a minute to gather his bearings to process what just happened before there were people screaming. His body was stiff in the concrete casket his body had created like a crater in the crosswalk. It was much like when the Hulk had smashed him within Stark Tower.

_Stark_.

Loki's heart lurched into his throat as he remembered who he had been with and out of the two which was a god and whom was not. His breath hitched when he sat up, eyes scanning the space before him with a panic before he saw the body beside him approximately five feet away.

In all of Loki's past thousands of years witnessing gruesome violence, death, and mangled bodies, he had never seen a body so unbelievably limp as Tony's.

"_No_," his voice was fleeting as the breath left his throat in a wisp of air. There were sirens in the distance, some man asking him if he was okay, some woman telling him the ambulance was coming, and a lot more noise inside of his head. Memories, memories of promises, laughter, love, stories, discussions, and anger rushing back to him in an overwhelming tsunami. He couldn't breathe but it didn't matter.

Tony _wasn't_ breathing, and that mattered. Loki's hands were on Tony, his arms curling around him to right his position, right his limbs and straighten his… just everything. To get him out of that uncomfortable position. Tony hated being uncomfortable and Loki was sure he was uncomfortable like that. He couldn't bend easily in weird angles, so why would Loki let him lay in weird angles when he couldn't right his position himself?

Loki could hardly see through the moisture in his eyes as he tried summoning magic. Anything. Any spell that could be conjured for the benefit of a Midgardian. If he could just begin a pulse, heal his spine, heal his bones and his lungs.

"Heimdall tell Odin I need the use of my magic, I need to heal him. He needs my powers. It is most urgent, Heimda-," his voice was cut off in a sob, "_please_."

Tony's lifeless body lay on his lap with Loki's arms wrapped around him holding the engineer tight to his chest. "Please," he begged loudly. The sirens were becoming louder, horns were honking, people were gathering, and there was a lot of noise inside of his head. Loki did nothing but sob and wish for his powers, wish for Tony to be playing some sick trick, wishing for this to be a terrible nightmare. Something he could wake up to in a sweaty mess and Tony be there next to him holding his face and telling him it was okay, and, whatever it was it was just a nightmare. Loki would make them spend all day inside because what if it actually happened and became reality rather than just a nightmare? He had a sick feeling this was not a nightmare he would wake from.

The ambulances arrived and the paramedics tried to pull Tony from Loki but the god refused to let him go. 'We can help,' one tried telling Loki but Loki just screamed at him there was no human way to help a dead man.

"Odin if you do not help this human you will rue this day far worse than you regret the day of adopting me as your son," his words were lethal, his chest heaving with rage, maybe sadness, or maybe both. Or maybe his chest was heaving with absolutely every emotion void of happiness one could feel. His body was shaking, his vision blurring, and his grip tight on Tony.

He didn't know it had started leaking, or that the crowd had left the scene, or the road had been shut down. He also didn't notice that his brother was there. So was Bruce, Steve, Natasha, and Clint. They stood around him with their faces grim. Mjölnir was tight in Thor's grip as he watched his brother and the lifeless Man of Iron in his grip.

Loki sobbed to the man's face, smoothing back his hair, touching his face. He could not let go of the lifeless body nor could he stop sobbing. His body shook with each sob, his voice hoarse and weak with the deepest pain. The pain ran through his fingers like dark electricity all the way to his torso then down to his toes. He couldn't believe it.

Tony was dead. Tony Stark was dead in his hands from the most avoidable kind of accident out of all the things Anthony Stark did in his life. He fucked the God of Mischief, for crying out loud, and lived to tell the tale. He killed Doombots and Chitauri and had fucking metal shards threatening his heart every god damn day and _this _is the way he fucking dies.

"Brother," Thor's voice was deep and calm, barely heard over the rain and storm around them, "shall we not bring this indoors?"

"Why!" Loki screamed, "What does it matter to him! He's dead! He can not fucking feel it!" Loki let go of Tony and rose, his knees stiff but he pushed it away quickly. "How dare you find the nerve to speak to me," his voice was barely masked to the rage he felt. "You agreed to send me here with that wretched father of yours. Strip my magic from my very soul but keep me immortal. Was this your plan? Was this Odin's lesson? Cause the Jotun Asgard mutt fall in love and kill him before his very eyes? And when he calls to aid a human that deserves it, ignore his wish? Ignore his wish and let the midgardian die! WAS THIS YOUR PLAN?" Loki was staring to the sky as he cried out and fell to his knees only to begin sobbing once more.

Loki was not coherent when the Avengers carried him and Tony stark into the tower. He sobbed into Thor's chest as the Thunder God carried him down the streets. Captain America carried Tony's lifeless body with a broken expression. The other three walked along in silence, aiding the Captain where needed as they thought of a place to put Tony before things could be… arranged.

Thor brought Loki to the bedroom that had been shared by the genius and the god. Loki curled onto Tony's side clutching the pillow that still smelled like him as he sobbed without breathing. He couldn't lose the smell due to his own breath, his own life, his own scent. Loki had dealt with much loss in his life and this one hurt far worse than anything he had ever endured. He would rather face the lie his father told him one hundred times over, live in Thor's shadow forever, live in the wasteland that is Jotunheim than live knowing that Tony Stark was dead and Loki was supposed to keep living without him.

"Loki, Loki wake up. I can't breathe. You're- you're fucki- ouch, shit, Loki," his voice grew louder as the god clung to his body tighter and tighter. "Ja-," he breathed out hoarsely, "zap him. I don't care how you do it, just do it."

Loki woke up with something mixed between a howl and scream of loss when electricity jolt through his body. His eyes were wild around his bearings before his eyes landed on the figure before him: the living, live, gasping for air figure in front of him.

"Tony," Loki breathed out in a tone that let out thousands of years of built up stress, lies, hurt, and worry. Loki's hands were fast on the man's face, feeling him all over just to feel the hot body beneath his hands. He could feel his pulse in the places he had not felt it.

Tony looked around oddly as he was felt up by the hands in quite an odd way. "Lo-Loki, what has gotten into you?" Tony's hands flew up to stop Loki's searching hands over his face. They had gone to bed pretty angry with one another. Loki was seething over something Tony had refused to do for him, or refused to believe. They had gone to bed with their backs to one another on the very edge of each side of the bed. It left Loki with an unwelcomed draft against his back and a yearning in his chest for apologies and compromises, but he had fallen asleep still angry.

Loki looked down to Tony who no longer looked annoyed as he had just hours ago when Loki had last looked at his face. Loki smoothed his hair back and kissed his lips with the most passion he could muster up, and was happy when Tony returned the kiss with as much apology as Loki was pouring into his mouth. Tears began spilling from Loki's eyes. It wasn't something that Loki ever did- crying was not something he was easily reduced to.

Tony pulled away and wiped his thumbs over the god's cheeks. "What?" he asked highly confused. For him, it had just been a really bad fight with some really nasty words strategically picked from dictionaries in all kinds of languages.

"I watched you die," he whispered, "and there was nothing I could do." Loki's voice was solemn and regretful, "I will never be able to help you if you are in trouble. I can only live and not die because I am burdened with immortality and no powers."

"Well maybe," Tony breathed nervous, leaning up to kiss Loki's swollen lips, "I will eat the apples you have asked for from Thor, so you can stop having those ridiculous nightmares."

Loki stared to Tony with disbelief before he grinned through the tears, "You'd do that?"

"If it means I get to insult you for the rest of time? Absolutely." The look in Tony's eyes told Loki that Tony didn't want to leave Loki anymore than Loki wanted him to leave.


	2. Chapter 2

There's a type of emotion that tragedy brings to a person. This emotion doesn't particularly have an adjective to describe it, nor does it have a set definition. It's an emotion sort of like love, but the complete polar opposite on the emotion scale. It makes a person near empty, void of thought, sleep, feelings, or words. It just leaves them there staring at the clock not understanding how that could happen to them. It leaves that person hollowed out, gutted like the Thanksgiving Turkey but they won't be eaten. No, they don't get the glory of ending like that turkey does. They have to continue on with their life. They're expected to. But how can they if the person they need with them isn't there?

The body has a way of being your worst enemy. Your body isn't hungry, but your stomach growls at you. Your body is tired but the mind is too wired on a replay of what happened; yet it's completely blank. But when you finally do fall to some kind of slumber, not particularly restful or even deep, the mind congratulates you. For some, they dream of nothing. Others, they dream of everything but.

For Loki, he dreams of the one he just lost. He dreams of a false reality where reality was only a dream and he wishes his dream was real. But it's not. It's not his reality and it never can be.

When he wakes up he's not sure what time it is, or what day, or what's real. He's strung along by the realness of his dream that nothing had happened. But when he shifts and everything is cold around him and his knuckles are sore from clutching the pillow it all comes crashing into him all over again.

Tony _is_ dead.

And Loki is not. Loki is in their shared bed, on Tony's side, with soggy cheeks, sore fingers, and his body frozen from the still wet clothing Thor had left him in.

How? How can this all be real when his dream was so vivid? He could smell Tony. He could feel his kiss. He could feel the blood pumping beneath him. Maybe it wasn't a dream. Maybe they had just gotten caught in the rain and Loki just didn't remember.

All of his hopes were shattered when Thor creaked the door open and timidly stuck his head in. "Brother?" his voice was too soft if everything was okay. Maybe Thor had a bad dream? Tony should create a dream catcher that actually works. "Brother, the robotic voice told me you have awoken," he spoke slowly as he entered the room. Thor didn't fear Loki's wrath without Loki's magic.

All of Loki's hopes quickly left him when Thor sat on the edge of the bed, touched his calve, and said, "my deepest condolences go to you, my dear brother. Let us not leave you in those cold, wet clothes any longer. A shower might due good for you."

All of his hopes were gone, his body tensed and he let out a loud, painful sob into his pillow. He clawed at the fabric and asked why into the pillow, muffled and drowned out by sobs.

Thor let out a great sigh and stood to walk to the head of the bed. He touched his brother's shoulder then gave it a gentle squeeze. "Brother, please," his voice was soft as he sat the man up. "Let me aid you now." He pulled Loki up to his feet and somehow Loki found the strength within his knees to at least hold his body up. His eyes were red already from his sudden sobbing. It was much sadder, much more personal, than when Loki was in his Jotun form and his eyes were painted red.

The thunder god led Loki to the bathroom suite where he undressed his brother, his eyes shy and shameful on his brother's naked skin. "Do shower," he instructed, "the water is warm like you like it. I will be here when you finish. Perhaps you can eat something." Thor's voice was all too quiet, an unfamiliar tone on the boisterous god. Perhaps Loki underestimated Thor's soft side.

Somehow, Loki wasn't sure, he managed to stand beneath the hot water and wash his body. It didn't clear his head, but he wasn't exactly thinking either. All he knew was this is what he was supposed to do. Somehow he needed to shower every day or Thor would come and undress him and make him shower. Would he be hand fed, too?

Loki didn't want to see the looks on everyone's faces. He definitely didn't want to be pitied. He didn't want any of the Avenger's mourning with him, or telling him they were sorry, or that he was in their prayers. Prayers to who? Jesus? Odin? Odin's the one who didn't help him. This is all someone's fault and he didn't know who to blame. That driver. That stupid driver that didn't fucking stop. That stupid driver that should have been paying attention but wasn't, that stupid fucking idiotic quim.

He felt himself not being able to breathe and decided he couldn't fall over in the shower because then Thor would have to touch him. No matter how void of sense Loki was, thinking about Thor helping him up while he was naked and extremely vulnerable made him shudder. It was bad enough Thor was in the same room as him, trying to help him. At least he wasn't acting like he understood. He didn't and he never would, and he didn't want to see him try to understand.

With some effort, he got himself washed up and out of the shower. He peered over to Thor, "would you mind leaving the room as I dry off? I surely do not need your aid in dressing myself," his words were bitter and cold, his eyes barely forgiving as he stared to Thor. If Thor was going to put himself there, then he would get the wrath Loki was feeling over the loss of Anthony Stark.

Thor stood with hesitation, then nodded, and left the bathroom. Loki could feel that he hadn't gone far but Loki wasn't about to waste his breath in being particularly picky in where Thor sent himself after Loki asked him to leave; as long as he wasn't in the same room as him.

Loki stared to himself in the mirror. His eyes were swollen and bruised beneath the sockets from lack of proper sleep, his eyes still bloodshot, his lips in a permanent pout, and his eyebrows slightly knitted together with a deep sort of sadness that flowed throughout the rest of his features. He found his way to dry off, brush through his hair, and leave the bathroom to find some kind of dry clothes to put on. He settled on sweatpants and a long sleeved shirt that may or may not have actually belonged to Tony.

Ignoring Thor's presence still he hung up his wet towels then went to the dirty hamper and pulled out a shirt Tony had been wearing just the other day. A nice dress shirt for whatever function they had been invited to. It smelled like Tony and the cologne he always wore because Loki had always made a pleased sound or expression whenever Tony wore it in the early days in the relationship.

He gripped the shirt tightly in his hands and finally acknowledged that Thor was still there. "You have more plans for me," it was more like a statement, or observation, than a question. Loki's voice was quiet now, not so venomous, but it wasn't entertained either.

Thor nodded, "Steve has cooked a breakfast," though Thor wasn't sure Steve had stopped moving since they had all arrived back to the tower hours earlier, "we shall warm it up for your stomach." Thor opened the door and watched Loki watch the doorway.

He couldn't do it. He couldn't risk facing anyone; he couldn't even handle the thought of eating in anyone's presence or eating. Tony would never be able to eat again. No more hamburgers, or Shwarma, or whatever other foods he was always going on about.

The god's body fell to the floor clutching the shirt to his chest with both hands, his knees up to his chest as he sobbed again. "Why? Why?" he cried into his knees, his body shaking. His lungs gasped for air but he refused to fill them. Strong arms wrapped around him tightly, repositioned his body, and he was engulfed by legs and strong hands and a comforting, deep voice on top of his head as he was rocked back and forth much like a baby. Loki couldn't even get mad at the hold he was in.

Thor was telling him it was okay. He whispered to his hair, "it's okay, brother. You can cry. I am so sorry I could not help the Man of Iron. I am so sorry," and Loki remembered thinking it wasn't good if both gods blamed themselves for the death but at the time he didn't care. He hated Thor, he hated Tony, he hated Odin, and he hated himself. His stupid, mutt, Jotun, Asgard self.

"What a fool I am for loving anyone," he cried into Thor's chest, now gripping the man's shirt tightly. His hands didn't stay still and they clung to his chest, to his sides, then at himself. His fingernails found their way to dig into his own arms and he sobbed loudly. "What a fool…" his sentence broke off as he just continued to cry into his brother's chest.

After what may have been hours Loki's tears led up and he was left in an exhausted heap within Thor's still very firm grip. He shifted some and Thor let up on his grip. Taking a deep breath, Loki stood up, took another deep breath and let it out in a sigh.

"Okay," he said quietly "let us eat."

With his agreement to move on for food Thor stood up and led the way with Loki following close behind with Tony's shirt still tight in his grip. He most likely looked like death, though he found that anyone would be a fool to comment on his state of appearance.

Steve Rogers, the Captain that he was, was still cooking, chopping, slicing, and dicing when the brothers approached the kitchen. Steve didn't look too good, either, but still no one said anything.

Loki sat down at the table as Thor created plates for them; his eyes steady on Steve as the man chopped whatever he was pretty hastily. Loki didn't remember Tony ever telling him that Steve enjoyed cooking. Maybe he didn't. He probably didn't. They had always ordered take out even when Steve was there visiting.

"Shit," Steve muttered under his breath harshly after slicing himself on the knife. He dropped the knife heavily onto the cutting board and curse again, sticking the wound in his mouth and picked the knife up only to cut whatever he was cutting over and over again harshly.

Before Loki knew it he was across the room taking the knife out of Steve's hand and pulling his thumb from his mouth, inspecting the thin slice of flesh. "You'll be fine," was all Loki said as he looked to the man's face, "barely got you."

Then Steve pulled Loki into a really tight hug, and Loki complied to the touch. He hugged Rogers rather tightly in return as he felt his moist face against his neck. Steve was muttering something about how he shouldn't be blubbering into Loki, of all people's, shoulders but Loki just hugged the big idiot and told him to shut up.

The god persuaded Steve to eat with them. "Surely you are curious about the taste of what you have made for us," Loki had said in as much of a suave tone as he could get, "now I request that you do join Thor and I."

It wasn't a happy meal, but it was a meal. Thor out ate them all, Loki picked but he got enough nutrients in his body for Thor to stop saying 'brother, you must continue eating' as if he were a distracted child, and Steve Rogers found his hunger somewhere after the roast beef stew.

After getting Loki out of his room, Thor had made it a point to keep him out. He bored the man with stories, television, bad acting, food, and trivia that Loki already, of course, knew more of than Thor did.

In the next few days the atmosphere perhaps lifted just slightly within the tower. Steve stopped cooking so much, much to Thor's disappointment, and Loki was grateful to not hear Thor's insidious mouth slurping noises so much. He also would not have to hear, "America's Captain, you have outdone yourself this time!" followed by loud laughter and more eating. Loki could handle quite much from Thor, but his eating habits were not one of them.

He was nervous walking into the funeral home, and then the reception area. Loki was not often nervous over public appearances, but this would be the first time everyone Tony &/or him ever knew on Midgard would all be huddled together crying over the lost genius and giving Loki pitiful looks. Pity was not something he wanted from anyone. If someone said the wrong thing he knew he was a ticking time bomb. He could go off from anything anyone said. He was still quite strong, even without his use of magic, and his silver tongue has yet to fail on a human (besides Tony).

While at the funeral everyone made small speeches about Tony in the best regard. Jarvis even made an appearance, thanks to Bruce Banner, and Loki could have sworn that sarcastic AI sounded choked up.

Everyone had said something to Loki, whether he knew them or not, and everyone who should be accounted for had been there. Even Happy, who always was fidgety and nervous around Loki- though he seemed more uneasy today. He was forgiven, though, considering the placement of their meeting.

"Thor," Loki looked over to his brother who was demolishing lasagna he remembered some older lady bringing in, "Thor please stop your love affair for food just one moment. Have I missed Miss Potts?" His gaze ran over the crowd mingling amongst one another. "I'm sure I have not."

The Thunder God nearly choked on his food, "Perhaps she got tied up with Stark Industry, brother. Need you not worry about her."

"You mustn't lie to a lie smith, Thor," Loki probed, "You know where Miss Potts is, don't you?"

"Oh, darling," some woman exclaimed, placing her hands wrongly on Loki's hand and then his shoulder. "The pain must be fogging your memory, you poor darling." She looked up to Thor, who was frowning greatly at her, then to Loki who looked absolutely puzzled. "Though, even considering your loss, I don't know how you could forget such a thing. They were such good friends for such a freak accident."

"What are you talking about?" Loki asked, his brows furrowed with extreme frustration with this woman. What was she talking about and why was Thor growing so tense? The entire room had gone a little more quiet and their attention was gradually moving to Loki and this woman.

"Pepper and Tony," she cleared, "Pepper was driving that car. I'm su-" Loki didn't give her a chance to finish her sentence before smacking her across the face as he rose from his chair.

"_What_?" His lips were a tight, thin line as he stared to the woman fumbling back. His eyes shot around the room, heart running for an escape route, and stomach churning with absolute disgust.

As Loki approached the woman she only screamed and Thor's hand gripped his arm tightly. "Loki, don't."

"You knew!?" he accused, "You knew and you refused to tell me! What? You think it a good idea in your brain to keep such a thing from me?" Loki hadn't been this dark in years. He hadn't used such wrath in his voice in quite a long time. He stood before Thor and Steve, who had quickly made his way across the room, his chest heaving, and eyes angry and wild. "You knew," he repeated dark and angry, "you both knew. You knew that she hit him. She hit him and she drove away, unsure of what just happened, is her plea? Is it?" He stared from both of them, back and forth. "Is it?"

"Loki w-," "Enough!" Loki stared to Steve Rogers whose guilt was plastered over his face. "We didn't know how to tell you it was her, Loki." "So the Captain finds his voice now? Once my beloved has been buried deep within this cold ground."

Thor shouldn't have spoken. He shouldn't have even opened his mouth to say a word because Loki was throwing himself at Thor's throat with all of his strength. Imbecile.

It took a SHEILD invasion, Captain America, and The Hulk to get Loki off of Thor- who was a bloody mess. They shot something into Loki's arm to sedate him long enough so he could be brought back to the tower.

When Loki woke up he was in an unfamiliar fluorescent room that had tile floors, white walls, a single chair, and his bed. His arms and legs were strapped to the bed and he, for a moment, wondered if he had been hospitalized and how well that had gone over when they got blood tests by the doctors. But then he heard the door open and saw an unpleasant dark figure approach the bed then sit down.

It was Nick Fury with a small file and a frown.

"I wish not to hear what you have to speak," Loki said bitterly, "I know all I must know. Do leave me here in silence."

"Stop being so melodramatic, Loki," Nick Fury gave no shits. "I am here to tell you everything accidental about Anthony Stark's death that includes Pepper Potts." He waited for a response but when Loki only balled his fists and pressed his lips together to a tight line he continued. "On the day of the accident, Miss Pepper Potts was driving her own vehicle and was accompanied by one man named Happy. The two confessed to horsing around when they came up to the intersection and did not notice the light had changed color, or that pedestrians were crossing through the cross walk. Upon impact, they both panicked and continued to drive away where Pepper called 9-1-1 in hysterics and was immediately arrested when found by the law enforcement.

"Happy has been released and Pepper remains behind the cell. SHEILD has taken responcibility to press charges against Miss Potts on your behalf since you were, indeed, struck by the vehicle as well. You, being a god, survived the impact but were still affected at the scene of the crime. There is a court hearing for Miss Pepper Pott's sentencing in the following weeks. Apparently laws, unions, and other particulars have found it upon themselves to claim this as a homicide rather than a freak accident. Tony's acquaintance with her brings up the closed files and rumors pertaining to that of Obadiah far back. You are requested to appear at these trials and hearings. You will be accompanied by Steve Rogers, Thor, and Natasha as well as a number of other SHEILD agents within the courtroom. Your outburst on Thor has gotten our eye back on you even though you remain powerless. If you happen to lose control of your mind and try to kill Miss. Potts, we will be there to stop you. Do I make myself clear?"

Loki nodded and clenched his teeth, loosened his fists, then relaxed his jaws. "May I go home now?"

He could have thrown Thor and Steve Rogers out of the window numerous times as they pestered him about leaving the tower over the following weeks before the hearing. Thor deemed it unacceptable that Loki was becoming far paler than ever and perhaps they could go for a picnic in the park.

"Oh how queer, Thor. Two demi-gods picnicking in central park on a blanket with a basket filled with sweets. Shall we invite Captain Rogers for a threesome as well?" A thin line formed into a smirk on Loki's face and he looked over to Steve who now held a defiant blush over his cheeks.

"Oh, uh, no- no thanks, Loki. I should probably go food shopping for dinner instead. Maybe we can go fishing or hunting some other day."

"Those activities can still be turned queer, Roger. Three men stranded on a boat bending over to attach bait to the hooks. And before you know it I'm goosing you because of your 'buns of steel', as Anthony referenced them." Loki was still smirking devilishly to Rogers, who now was fumbling over everything in the kitchen he couldn't even cover it up.

They all would agree it was refreshing to see Loki falling back to his taunting ways with words. Even if it did mean Steve had to pay the embarrassing price.

Without everyone stepping around eggshells all the time, Loki found being out of his room much more pleasurable. This way, Thor worried less and Loki found himself alone wallowing in mournful misery less than he would if everyone was still treating him like a fragile antique china doll from the first century.

The day of the trial approached and landed on Loki's doorstep. He dressed in some kind of suit that made Steve grimace from the Germany day resemblance, but he agreed Loki looked sharp.

He was escorted into the maxed out capacity court room and sat in front of the barrier of the audience. They rose for the judge, which was a lot for his ago, then set as the readings were presented.

Loki was fine. He was fine. Just take some labored breaths. In. Out. In. Out.

"Pepper Potts, will you approach the stand and be sworn in?"

In. Out. In. Out. In.

"How do you plead?"

"Not Guilty."


	3. Chapter 3

It all happened rather quickly.

Pepper accused Loki of mind control and the entire establishment was turned over in two seconds with S.H.E.I.L.D. agents. Citizens attending the court were in an uproar of peril over the villain, and for some reason everyone was standing up; even Loki.

His eyes scanned everywhere in the short moments he wasn't being targeted for arrest. Maybe he could find who was setting him up like this. Then Director Fury was approaching with a hand on his side gun and Steve Rogers was approaching from his side.

On instinct Loki waved his arm in the direction he wanted Nick Fury to go- in the air and against the nearby wall of the courtroom. Not only was the act fulfilled by magic but it made everyone stop; whether it was S.H.E.I.L.D. agents or the handful of Avengers whom were in the courtroom as well.

Steve grabbed Loki's arm and suddenly they were on top of the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco. His eyes portrayed the disbelief of possibly having his powers, and he completely forgot that there may be a very confused and, probably, angry Captain America standing next to him on a very high point.

"Loki- what the hell is this? What are you playing at? Thor told everyone you are without your sorcery. The first thing you do with your powers is brain wash your boyfriend's assistant so she kills him? Why not do the dirty work yourself! You were sleeping with him, it would have been easy for you to gank him then."

Loki snarled as he turned on his heel to glare at the man lecturing him over something Loki did not have time to process. In a fit of rage he swept his arm out to levitate Steve into the air over traffic, or perhaps the body of water, but nothing happened.

A low growl escaped his throat as he tried it again then made eye contact with Steve who looked as confused as Loki. The God's lips pursed as he lowered his arm to his side. "I do not have use of my sorcery," he observed. His eyes lifted up to the captain's, "you mustn't call S.H.E.I.L.D."

"Like heck I'm not, there is no way getting down here and who knows if your powers will come back! You got us here somehow, who is to say you aren't lying to me?" The captain pawed for his phone before Loki grabbed his wrist tightly.

"Rogers, I do not have my sorcery." Loki's eyes bored into the Captains, his expression cold in his face, his eyes confused and frustrated. "My conclusion is I have been framed, am being framed, though I do not know by whom. Or how they have gained access to temporarily break Odin's spell. You must take my word, Steve." Loki didn't let his stare falter while the captain's gears began working in his mind. He could see Rogers battle with reason, plans, and whether or not he could, or should, trust Loki.

"I would never dream to brain wash Pepper to kill my Anthony," Loki's voice became warm as his face morphed into the emotion he was in fact feeling. If he needed anyone on his side, it was Captain America himself. One man who could feel wrong and right in his gut. At least, that is what Tony always told Loki before or after missions they would be sent on. "Believe me," he whispered, "I wouldn't ki-… I could never betray him. I truly cared deeply for that man. You must know. You must have watched me change. Yo-"

"I believe you, Loki," Rogers' voice was firm as if he were taking the upper hand of this mission. His wrist had been let go before Loki's monologue over Tony, and it had given Steve enough of a view to Loki's body language as he spoke. "But I can't not call S.H.E.I.L.D. If we were to get off of this bridge and figure something out, you would be most wanted not for allegedly brain washing Pepper and killing Tony but for kidnapping Captain America as well. These guys capture and kill and ask questions later. What I'll try to do is get you in a holding cell with better treatment than what you have seen. I will have to pull strings to have you released, but I will do my best. There's no telling how long you'll be locked up."

"I can not find who has done this to me, or why, in a cell, Rogers. It will be hard enough without my magic to even begin to search."

"If Thor knows anything, he'll tell me. I'll need to get him on our side, which won't be hard after some smooth talking with him. If he's going to believe this, he's going to believe it coming from my mouth rather than your silver tongue."

He could not argue with Steve. If he had Captain America rooting for him, this would be much easier. It was true about Thor and Loki knew he needed any help he could get: especially from his brother whom Heimdall would open the bifrost for. Thor could travel through the realms, ask questions, and investigate.

"I can not find a better plan within my mind's reach, Steve. Do call Fury." This should be marked down on a book, Loki willingly giving himself up to S.H.E.I.L.D. when he quickly made the wanted list in a matter of, not even, thirty minutes.

Steve nodded as he pulled his cellphone out and made the call. Brief, quick, filled with promises of being all right.

_

Turns out, initially, Steve Rogers did not have an upper hand in the situation. Steve being completely unharmed did not make a difference to the way Loki was going to be imprisoned, either.

Loki sat in a grey cell, which had no windows, thick glass doors that only looked out to an empty hallway- void of anything or anyone, and a single bench barely long enough for him to recline on without his thighs hanging off. There must have been cameras throughout the cell to capture him in every angle. What they were watching for, he wasn't sure.

A snide smirk spread across his lips, "Am I to put on a show, Fury? Which would you like? Some green butterflies fluttering to my glass door? Or, perhaps a tiger: threatening your throat for when I leave? May I ask, director, where am I supposed to relieve myself? Do I get a single phone call?" Loki looked around the ceiling where he assumed cameras were hidden. SHEILD wouldn't be foolish enough to not have a two way microphone connected to the cameras.

As he received no response Loki held out his hands in a surrendering manner, "All right," he began, "I give up. May I at least have a word with Captain Rogers?"

There was a sudden release in silence in the room, a microphone clicking on his end for receiving. "Loki, we are not here to compromise with you, nor are we giving you special treatment. You may also not speak with Steve Rogers. Until you explain to us how, and when, you got your magic back and why you mind washed Miss Potts, we have a special remedy just for you to restrict all of your magic from leaving your body. This will secure any agent that comes in. In case you decide to act out of wrath when the glass door is opened. You aren't getting out of this one, Laufeyson."

Loki felt something shift in the air once Fury cut out. It instantly made him feel light headed, weak even. He was impressed with SHEILD for producing an odorless, colorless, magic restrainer. Though, he was not impressed with their lack of knowledge to what their product could do to a body without magic abilities within it.

As he sat down his brain felt heavy with ache as he tried not to breathe as deeply or as frequently though it would do nothing to stop his body from being affected by the gas.

It had been four days since anyone had contacted Loki minus the meals that were slid through a slot in the glass doors, which were left without being touched.

His state was much like that of when he first arrived on earth after traveling through the dark abyss of space. His eyes sunken in, purple bags around his sockets, constant sweat on a cold body, and paled skin. He could hardly move let alone attempt to eat whatever they were trying to feed him.

On the fifth day he received a visit from Nick Fury. The man stood behind the glass, hands folded behind him, with his eye peering in at Loki.

"Are you ready to talk yet, or should I up your steady gas intake?"

"I haven't the use of my magic," Loki breathed, "you must ask Rogers. Let me speak with him. Fury, I will even allow you to supervise. Supervised visits are permitted in prison, are they not?"

"Not in this prison. I'm glad to see our gas is working. Special thanks to our very own Bruce Banner. How much of this are you going to take, Loki? I've got all year to wheel it out of you. I promise you this is not the worst that can happen to you in means of torture."

A weak snicker left Loki's mouth. "Is that what you call this, torture? I figured it was a new age Midgardian way of wooing their physical partners."

Fury gave a slight smirk before entering the cell. He ordered Loki to get up then grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and shoved him against the wall. Loki had no strength to try to fight back. Using the wall for support, he looked to Fury's eye, "I haven't the use of my magic," he whispered, "Even without this gas, I haven't the use. I can not explain what has happened."

Fury was about to throw Loki across the floor when Thor and Steve Rogers appeared. "Unhand my brother," Thor boomed. Pointing Mjölnir to the glass he summoned lightening, causing an explosion for access.

Loki had no strength left and fell to the ground, Rogers quickly by his side to hoist him up.

"Loki… Loki can you hear me?" Steve's face was covered in worry while taking in the physical state Loki was in.

"Get Thor… out of here…"


	4. Chapter 4

"Thor!" Loki yelled as best he could, "Do not expose yourself!" Loki tried standing to rush over to his brother, failing and collapsing against Steve Rogers. "He musn't… he'll be affect'd… I need him."

He was barely conscious as Steve Rogers led him out of the cell and into an elevator, which was clean of exposure to the gas. Thor was in the elevator as well, and Loki didn't have the energy to see if Nick Fury had followed them in. He could hear Steve talking but couldn't comprehend what he was saying. He could barely remember where he was or what he was doing in the short ride to a different floor. By the way his head felt pressured he supposed they were traveling upwards rather than downwards in the headquarters.

When the doors opened, Loki looked up and his heart dropped down to his butt. He didn't have the mind enough to tell himself he must be delirious. Tony hadn't visited his dreams in what seemed to be years, though it was only a couple of weeks.

But there he was tailored in a fine suit looking disappointed with the villain and annoyed with something. Director Fury walked up behind him as Rogers helped Loki out of the elevator. Loki's head turned to stare incredulously to Tony. "Why do you look so angry? I haven't done any wrong." His voice was soft, and he thought his eyes were pleading, but in reality his head was simply looking in a direction with his eyes searching through space. He wasn't speaking, and no one knew who he was seeing. But, he thought it was real. How couldn't it be real? Tony was standing there in his finest suit, freshly shaven, and he could have sworn he even smelled him.

"You must believe me, Tony. I didn't try to kill you. I love you, I couldn't… I wouldn't," his voice soft to the man who approached him as Steve stopped to negotiate with Fury.

"Yes. Yes you did. You pushed me in front of that car." Tony's voice was low, not his.

"Wha-? Tony, no. No. Anthony don't you leave me now. Where are you going? Tell Fury! Tell him I didn't kill you! I didn't mind wash Pepper!" Loki's pleas fell to unheard ears as Tony walked away.

"I thought you changed, Loki. I trusted you. Why did you have to kill me? What is there for you now? Nothing. You've got a broken soldier and a helplessly loving thunder God. Once again, you've got nothing."

Loki just stared at the distant figure, his heart shattering as if it was the finest china being thrown against a concrete wall. Loki let go of Captain Rogers in attempt to run after the disappearing figure. Crashing down to his knees jolted him back to reality. The smell was gone, there was no sign or speak of 'what Stark just said.'

It took Steve and Thor to carry Loki to his new holding chamber. This one had a bed, a couple of uncomfortable and basic chairs, and a noticeable camera pointed to the bed for surveillance.

When he woke up he noticed someone must have changed his clothes and perhaps bathed him. He hoped it hadn't been Rogers only because of embarrassment Steve must have felt touching a naked man; a naked man God.

He looked around the empty room and sighed. He still felt weak, though perhaps not as weak as before. He couldn't tell if it was the same day as he last had consciousness and there was no one there to tell him otherwise. Deciding there was no use in talking or calling out to anyone, he let his eyes fall shut once more.

"My dear Loki," a warm hand brushed over his cheek, warm but rough with callous. "What have we gotten you into?" Loki looked up to the man, eyes filling with tears immediately, and his heart wrenched within his chest with memory of what happened earlier.

"Why must you toy with my mind, Stark?" Loki pulled his head away from the hand, glowering over to one of the chairs. "Is this an act? Who is betraying whom, here? It musn't be I, for you are still alive. How could I have killed a man who still walks on this Earth? It is you who has betrayed me. Framed me to have killed you. We buried your body. I wept over it! How, then, how have you pulled this off?"

Tony grabbed Loki's jaw and turned it towards him, though it was no longer Tony. The suit was the same, but the figure wasn't even human. Loki gasped, as much as he could with restricted jaw movement, and tried to break free of the grip on his jaw. "Who are you?" he growled, gripping the wrist tightly and used all his strength to throw the body over the bed and into the chairs across the room.

Once again, Loki found himself in a room that was in an uproar. What seemed to be nurses, maybe some agents, rushed around helping the body he had thrown across the room; a man in two pieces of scrub clothing with a clipboard by his side.

"Loki!" His head shot to the door where Thor stood, glancing briefly over to the man across the room then back to his brother. "You must not throw these nurses, they mean you no harm!"

Was his brother chastising him? Loki looked confused and helpless, letting his head fall back to the pillow where he let out a deep breath. "I saw Anthony, Thor," he might as well admit it to someone. This had been the second time he had believed a delusion to be a reality, and now he had acted physically upon that reality. "It was he, his hand, his smell, his voice. Then I looked away, and when I looked back, it was a creature not of this planet. You must find where in the realms this creature lives and find who is causing this of me."

"Brother," Thor's voice was soft, his hand touching upon Loki's shoulder. "I will ask of you to explain what this creature looked like. I am departing tomorrow to go on my search and I will ask Heimdall if he knows of such creatures, and I will talk with father. You musn't stay ill, my brother. It is not well for your mind. If Tony visits you in a fake reality again, tell yourself he is not here. Man of Iron is dead, and he isn't returning. He can not return. He is mortal. Do remember if you see him again."

It was a hard truth to accept. It was a truth he had accepted when Anthony Stark's body had been lowered into the ground and media covered every angle of his death. Thor telling him was a reassurance that he had not spoken to Tony twice. It was all in his mind. It gave him some reassurance, this truth Thor spoke of. Tony did not think Loki killed him, and that was all Loki wanted to know.

Loki relaxed his body in the bed. "Now, brother," Thor started, "explain to me the physical attributes of this beast you saw."

The god of mischief began explaining what this being looked like, though before he would go on to describing the facial features, he was standing up and clawing at Thor's face. His nails digging into his skin as Thor was pushed to the ground. S.H.E.I.L.D. agents rushed in to restrain Loki, stabbing him with a tranquilizing serum to stop the attack.

He was then bound to the bed by his ankles and wrists. A vulnerable position, but they couldn't risk another out burst. Loki seemed to have all his strength back, even though his mind was not yet returned.

In the surveillance room, someone had Loki's back.

"It must have been the gas," Agent Romanoff observed, "it weakened his entire body. Starved it of its proper functions, therefore causing something to change in his mind. Director, you should get Banner in on this to run some tests. He will be able to tell us if Loki can be resolved. We don't know if this is an act, an illness, or someone toying with his mind. If we don't think Loki had the ability to touch Pepper's mind, someone did, and there's no saying who and it can't touch Loki's." Natasha looked to Director Fury as he contemplated, then agreed to call Banner in to run some tests.

Lucky for Loki, what serum they stabbed him with brought him relaxation and piece.

In his dream he woke up in half a haze and looked down to his naked body, then up to his bound arms. He was tied to Tony's bed with special restraints strong enough to withstand the strength of a God if Loki had wanted to break free and punish Tony for tying him up in the first place.

His ankles were in the air, tied to ropes that connected to the frame of the bed above him. His erection laid against his stomach, precum dripping to his belly button.

Loki remembered this. Stark had suggested kinky sex where Loki surrendered his dominance to Anthony and allowed him full control. It had been the best sex of Loki's long life, even if he had been neglected orgasm for what seemed to be a millennium. All his past powerful orgasms seemed to have crept back on him to build up with anticipation.

He lay there, helpless, his eyes dark, pupils wide, and mind so dirty it would cause Sasha Grey to blush.

Tony walked in from the bathroom, his dick flaccid, and his hair wet. Tony had brought Loki so close to orgasm before he passed out and had decided to take a shower after coming on his ass.

"My prince has awoken," Tony observed with a smirk, "just in time, too. You know, you pull a funny act passing out before you have even been fucked through orgasm. I'm impressed. For a god, I though you would have a much higher stamina than that."

"Lest you forget, you have been teasing me for three hours," Loki shifted in the tied, his bones popping and screaming to be released for movement. "I need you to fuck me, Anthony."

"I see I have a beggar on my hands," Tony purred as he walked over to his closet, pulling out nipple clams and a vibrator. "You see, Loki, the more you beg the more I decide whether I'm going to bring you release or keep teasing you. I love to hear you beg in my ears. Filled with wanton, lust, and absolute heat." Tony pulled the vibrator in and pressed it behind Loki's balls, causing a deep cry of pleasure escape from his mouth.

Tony pressed the vibrator in place with his knee as he leaned over Loki to attach the nipple clamps. Loki's chest heaved as his heart rate increased and his muscles tensed up. "Please, Tony, let me come. Fuck me. Fuck through my orgasm. Pound your thick cock against me so hard I'm screaming for my father to save me. Let me come, let me watch you come onto my face. Oh God, Tony, please." Loki squirmed beneath the body above him, heaving and moaning from pleasure.

Tony kissed over Loki's neck, down to his collarbones, and left a mark right beneath one of them- one of Loki's sweetest spots. When he removed the vibrator Loki cried out with displeasure, lifting his head up to watch Tony. Everything, every touch, was heightened with sensation. Loki was sure if Tony sucked on his damn calves he would feel pleasure from it. He needed release and he needed Tony to fuck him over his limit.

Tony moved to the side of the bed and crawled over to Loki where he untied his legs from the restraints, and let his wrists go from the bed post but kept them tied together behind his back and sat him up. "My beautiful, begging, prince. Such a slut for my cock. If you're naughty again, I'll just tie you up and make you watch me fuck your brains out with the video footage Jarvis is recording. See how bad you want me after you watch yourself fall to pieces in front of your very eyes. Crave the pleasure I bring you."

Loki didn't have time to come back with a snarky retort, he didn't think he could think of anything besides demanding Tony to fuck him already, when Tony pulled Loki's head back and shoved his cock into his mouth.

He let it sit there for a moment as he turned the vibrator back on, moving it up and down the length of Loki's cock before setting it on the bed, still running, and just lightly touching against Loki's body. Tony pulled out of Loki's mouth before face-fucking him ruthlessly. The moans emitting from Loki's throat sent wonderful vibrations over his body. When Tony felt himself nearing climax he pulled out, allowing the God to catch his breath. Even being unable to have breathed, and probably with a sore jaw, Loki stared at Tony's cock with absolute hunger.

"You amaze me, darling," Tony stated as me moved off of the bed, "Teased for hours, face fucked ruthlessly, and you still want it in your mouth." Loki let out a snarl of protest of the statement, unwilling to admit it aloud to Tony even if it was true.

Without warning Tony pushed Loki back, spread his legs in the air and impaled deep into him. Loki cried out in pleasure, pain, and relief. Tony pounded into Loki fast and erratic, but it hit his prostate dead on causing Loki over the edge. There was nothing more in the world than Anthony, Anthony's cock, and Loki's orgasm. Absolutely nothing, and if anything stopped him from coming now he was going to poison it's drink and eat it's children. He didn't care. He needed his orgasm and he needed it now.

Anthony's hand on his cock sent him over into the blissful world of release. He came hard, his body writhing beneath Tony, vocal cords strained from screaming so loudly. Tony rode Loki out as much as he could, milking his cock until it seemed painful for the man beneath him. Tony pulled out of Loki and came hard over Loki's stomach. He managed to untie all of the restraints before collapsing on the bed beside his lover, whom was still catching his breath and barely able to open his eyes.

"Loki?" a voice pulled him out of his sleep and he looked over to the doorway where Captain Rogers stood looking a bit relieved to see Loki. "Hey, how are you feeling? You've been out for a few days. Bruce ran some tests and gave you some medicine to bring your vitals back to normal… for a God."

Loki's mind was clear of what had happened when he had last been awake, for now. He had a calm feeling from the dream that might have only been for the last hour, or it lasted for the past three days. He wasn't sure, nor did he care, he was glad Tony had been with him while he had been sleeping.

Steve entered the room, closing the door behind him, and approached Loki in his bed. "You look better," he stated as he began letting his arms and legs free of the restraints.

"I will admit I feel more of myself than last," he agreed. Steve was about to unleash Loki's last wrist restraint when he stopped and looked up bashfully. Loki looked to Steve then where Steve had glanced and back to Steve again. A sly smirk spread over Loki's lips, "Captain," his voice took on a sultry tone, "are you going to keep me tied up as you help relieve me?" He was only kidding, of course, but the tomato red Captain was worth the punch.

Steve cleared his throat, let Loki's final restraint free, and looked up to the ceiling briefly. "Uhm, glad uh, to see you're feeling better," he cleared his throat again. "Wash up and get dressed, we have things to discuss."

Steve made his way to the door. As he was walking, Loki went for another punch; "I wouldn't have tagged you for a tease, Rogers. Get a man heated and walk out on him. Such a shame," Loki made a mock tsking noise with his tongue before getting up from the bed and walking over to the bathroom. He needed a relief of his first erection since Tony's death, and why not picture what he had just dreamed while doing so?

Loki relieved himself, showered, and dressed in clothes Thor or Steve must have picked out from Stark Tower. He walked out into his room, over to the door, deciding to try opening it on his own will. With much relief it opened without trouble and he felt as if he were a free man walking out of his cell.

As he made his way down the hall the past days he had been awake came back to him: the visions of Tony, the creature, attacking Thor.

At the end of the hallway, Natasha greeted him. "Glad to see you're not clawing at anyone's throats, Loki. Come this way, we've set up a meeting for you. While you were unconscious Thor left to search for the creature you half described to him. To prevent any more outbursts from you we won't be asking you to give a description unless you're restrained to prevent it from happening again. Thor survived your attack, but we don't think a human would."

"How is the man I threw across the room?" Loki asked as he followed Natasha through some hallways and stepped into an elevator. "I wasn't myself. I'm afraid I am getting myself into deeper trouble."

"He sustained minor injuries. Nothing we couldn't fix."

Inside of the meeting room sat Captain America, Bruce Banner, Clint, Director Fury, and now Natasha and Loki.

Steve Rogers was the first to speak. "We haven't gotten any messages from Thor in the past few days. It's too early to panic. If we don't hear from him tomorrow we should attempt connection between here and Asgard. Loki, you won't be able to be a part of that attempt for we're still unsure if the thought of you is yet welcomed, but we will keep you informed of everything that happens."

"Does Thor even have much to run on? From the description Loki gave him it wouldn't really be enough to narrow it down that much," Clint was speaking now. "Before we try to get connection to Asgard, shouldn't we get more from Loki so we can relay it to Thor?"

"Loki has been through enough for the time being," Steve defended, "Before we ask him for anything more he needs to rest and recover. A person who has go-" "I can speak for myself, Rogers," Loki pursed his lips slightly, "and give me a day before you question me again. I want to enjoy being well long enough to eat some proper food and sleep in my own bed."

Everyone seemed to agree with small head nods, "Agreed," Rogers decided, "I will be staying with you under high surveillance. Clint and Natasha will be staying in Stark tower as well. I will ask you to program Jarvis to watch everything and report to me if you seem off or of any security breeches. From the next ten minutes until tomorrow-early afternoon you will have to recover. When we're all here next, Loki you will be restrained and give us a full briefing of what this character looked like. We're going to find out the cause of this mess and make sure Thor is safe."

The meeting commenced and cars were set up to bring Loki, Steve Rogers, Clint, and Natasha to Stark tower for the evening. Jarvis ordered Chinese food for everyone, double of what Loki wanted, and it was an awkward family dinner.

Later that evening Loki stood by a picture window, overlooking Manhattan's skyline and simply thinking about nothing and everything.

"You miss them," it was a softer voice than one he had heard from Steve Rogers lately. "I know how it feels to miss your best comrades. And I hope I can be a good enough fulfillment for both, and when Thor comes back, I wish to stay a comrade to you, Loki."

Loki turned to look at Steve whom was dressed in jeans and a sweatshirt. The Captain still hadn't gotten used to the new fashion and most times looked awkward in whatever clothing he had recently bought to fit trends and fit in.

"You should wear what you're used to, Captain," Loki's voice was soft as Steve walked up next to him by the window. "You don't look comfortable in what isn't yourself. Bringing the early 1900s back seems to be a fad now, anyway. Create a trend for yourself. Wear what you would if it was eighty years ago."

Steve smiled and gave a breathy chuckle, "I think the kids would pull my leg for being an old man."

"You haven't any kids to worry about, Captain. You are Captain America. People know you for good. Therefor, I do not see why they would make fun of your fashion sense. It is not as if you are dressing from the 1700s." Loki peered out to the skyline once more before looking to Steve. The only light they had was the gleam from the city into the room, a low blue hum of light. "Get some rest, Rogers. Whatever happens tomorrow, I am ready for it. I am glad to have you as a friend to mine. My deepest gratitude goes to you. Goodnight, Captain."

Steve smiled at the man's words. It was different to hear kind, wishingly comforting, words from the God who usually shot uncomfortable dagger jokes his way.

"Loki, hold on," Steve grabbed Loki's elbow, causing the man to turn and face him only inches away from his face. Steve lost all he had wanted to say with the God staring at him with full attention. He suddenly understood what Tony had meant when he said breathtaking ability to make him forget what he was so worried about.

Loki was surprised when Steve's hand touched Loki's jaw and brought his face to his. Steve's lips were soft and timid against Loki's until they felt the God's lips kissing back with a gentle pressure. Steve placed a hand on Loki's side and pulled his face in closer, deepening his kiss. Loki's cold hands moved to either side of Steve's neck in response.

"_Sir, it is now recommended that you attend your chambers for the night. There is an early wake up call requested by S.H.E.I.L.D. and you must get your rest_." Jarvis' voice pulled them out of their kiss, leaving Steve Rogers a blushing baboon pulling his hands back to himself.

"Loki, I-" Loki looked to the ceiling then back to Steve, "Have a good night, Captain."


End file.
